One of the most fascinating features of astrology is the ability to illuminate the “synastry” or cosmic synergy of partners in a relationship. But make no mistake; this is not the simple and often silly Star Sign compatibilities that you’ll still find in many newspapers. In real astrology, comparing the cosmic charts of two different people is a difficult and complex task that can yield astonishingly detailed and nuanced information about the whole breadth and scope of a relationship. The major potentials and challenges of the relationship, the type of the major lessons for each of the partners involved, the ways in which each of the partners are going to be inclined to interact with each other, how their energies function together sexually, emotionally, intellectually, or professionally, the impact they are likely to have on each other’s lives, and even karmic obligations they might carry from past life connections – all of this will be revealed to the skilled reader. In short, you’ll get the cosmic blueprint of a relationship, what it can be and where its dangers lie. Unsurprisingly, people in civilizations that have a strong tradition of astrology – such as India – will inevitably consult an astrologer before marrying someone. A practice that more and more people are picking up in our contemporary planetary culture, not only when marrying someone but generally as an invaluable aid in relationship matters.
A question that one may be tempted to ask is whether there is such a thing as an ideal partner. Is there a destined lover for you written in the stars? Is there an “other half” of your soul waiting to complement you like in Plato’s myth about the primal people who had two heads, four arms, and four legs, and who was punished by the gods by being split into two, now ever having to roam around the world in dissatisfaction seeking their other half so to finally find their own original fullness in the merging embrace of the other? Or should it be possible to find this other half in many other lovers? What studying hundreds of astrological synastry charts makes abundantly clear is that there are indeed some relationships and encounters that are highly fated. Relationships between partners where a whole series of important elements relate to each other in exquisitely meaningful and beautifully arranged ways. What also becomes clear is that there is no relationship that does not have its own major challenges and difficulties. In fact, it is often the most meaningful and powerful relationships where you also have some of the most difficult hard aspects thrown in, precisely because they could not be worked through and learned from if they did not occur in your most meaningful and empowering relationships. As the Koran says God never gives you more to carry than what you can handle.
But how many of these highly fated relationships and encounters do you get in a lifetime? The most significant and potentially empowering kind of relationships are limited in number and usually come into your life at the time of important personal transits. There could be 3, 6, 9, or 12 or 21 of them for you – depending on factors in your own natal chart and your propensity to learn and grow through relationships. But is there, among them one is that is clearly and unmistakably “the one” for you? My experience tells me that there isn’t. Studying synastries shows you that each of the most important encounters in your life could be “the one” for you, or rather, you could make it the one if you decided to pursue it and realize all the potentials inherent in that relationship. The full transformative potential of any relationship is only realized when you decide to fully embrace that relationship and go with its flow, no matter where it takes you. Going for a relationship and making it “the one” for you is like making a leap into the unknown, into a journey that will change you and your whole reality with it. Even astrology can’t tell you what exactly is going to await you, how it’s going to feel to go through it all, and how all the potentials in the relationship are going to actualize in concrete terms – for even the most comprehensive cosmic vision does not replace the raw intensity of the actual experience.
So ultimately it comes down to knowing or feeling what kind of transformations you want to go through. Which kind of lessons do you want to learn in this incarnation and what kind of developments do you want to make on your journey. Who do you want to become? Each of the significant encounters in your life is going to offer you his or her own unique path to Truth, his or her own unique trajectory of the self-expressing and self-experiencing Universe in your reality, his or her unique version of who you are going to be. Each is potentially a cosmically destined lover through and with whom you can find a unique type of fulfillment and realization. When you feel who you truly are, were, and shall become, the right decision will make itself for you.